


The Power of Communication

by thatSlytheringirl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 12:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19209562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatSlytheringirl/pseuds/thatSlytheringirl
Summary: In which Chanyeol is in the type of annoying relationship where the couple breaks up and gets back together all the time and Baekhyun is the best friend that has been in love with Chanyeol for years, but that instead of feeling hurt because of Chanyeol's relationship now just feels annoyed.Or in which Chanyeol and Baekhyun discover the power of communicating properly.





	The Power of Communication

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the slightly edited version of a tweetfic I posted on my Twitter account [creggcell](https://twitter.com/creggcell)
> 
> Enjoy!

Baekhyun sighed as he ran his fingers through Chanyeol’s soft black hair and played with his ears, trying as best as he could to comfort his best friend.

"This time we broke up for good," murmured Chanyeol with a weak voice, his head resting on Baekhyun's chest.

"I'm sure you'll be able to fix everything, Chanyeol. Just give it time.”

"No Baek, this time it's different," insisted Chanyeol.

Baekhyun sighed, used to this. It wasn't the first time he heard that. Every time Chanyeol broke up with his girlfriend said the same thing. And every time, the most they stayed broken up was two weeks.

Yeah, Chanyeol’s relationship was the annoying, toxic type were the couple break up and get back together all the time, and it had been the same way since the very beginning three years ago. 

"Sure, Yeol. If you say so," he said, not being able to hide his annoyance.

Chanyeol caught up to it -not that Baekhyun expected otherwise- and slowly lifted his head from Baekhyun's chest to meet his eyes.

"I mean it. It's going to be different," Chanyeol insisted, a frown between his eyebrows.

Smiling, Baekhyun tilted his head to the side. "No offense Yeol, but you said that before several times. And look, I'm not trying to minimize your pain or anything, of course. It's just that it's hard for me to believe this will be different."

Chanyeol studied Baekhyun's eyes intently. "Have I been that pathetic?" Asked Chanyeol at last.

Taken off-guard by the giant's words, Baekhyun's eyes widened in shock. "Pathetic? Where did that come from?"

Chanyeol pouted as he played with his fingers, looking positively sheepish. "That's what Sehun said the last time," he murmured." I didn't want to believe him, but seeing your reaction just now makes me believe he was right."

Baekhyun chuckled as he placed two fingers under Chanyeol's chin, tilting his best friend's face until their eyes met again.

"I didn't call you pathetic, though. Can't say I agree with the way you and Bora have handled your relationship, but it really isn't my business either," he replied. Baekhyun cupped Chanyeol's cheek and ran soothing circles with his thumb over the soft skin. "Stop worrying about my opinion or Sehun's. What you should care about is how you feel right now. Heal, Yeol, take care of yourself. If you get back together with her or not is none of my business.”

"You really don't believe me when I say we're over, do you?" Asked Chanyeol, frowning once again.

Sighing, Baekhyun dropped his hands and ran one through his hair. "I already told you it's hard, but hey, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you'll prove me wrong," he replied with a shrug. "Now come here, I want to cuddle."

Chanyeol smiled at that and returned to his previous position in Baekhyun's arms.

Content with the physical contact, Baekhyun relished the moment and allowed his heart to hope that maybe, just maybe, this time around Chanyeol and Bora were done for good.

And perhaps he finally had a chance to love Chanyeol the way he’d always wanted to.

XXXX

Surprisingly, Chanyeol did end up proving him wrong when a month went by and he hadn’t gotten back with Bora. Still, it was obvious the guy was hurt, so Baekhyun tried his best to cheer him up whenever he could.

Sehun insisted that Baekhyun should make a move, but Baekhyun didn't think it would be okay. If anything, he was a firm believer of the value of staying alone after a breakup to reconnect with yourself, especially after a relationship that lasted as long as Chanyeol's did, and that was as complicated and toxic too.

"What if he starts dating someone else or, heaven forbid, he gets back together with Bora?" said Sehun one afternoon as they ate lunch in the university’s cafeteria.

"I know it could happen, but I don't want to force myself on him. Not when he feels the way he does. It wouldn't be okay from my part," replied Baekhyun before he took a bite of his food.

"Or maybe you're afraid of being a rebound," said Sehun as he stared at Baekhyun with a raised eyebrow. Baekhyun bit his lip at that, but he didn't say anything. Sehun smiled smugly at that. "Knew it.”

Frustrated, Baekhyun sighed as he put his chopsticks down. "Well, can you blame me? He's obviously still hung up on her. A relationship between us wouldn't work right now. Besides, he needs to give himself time to heal and to move on properly. He doesn't need a relationship right now. He needs time to rediscover himself as an individual and he needs to piece himself back together. If he wanted to date someone else right now, though, then so be it. I'm giving him time and space and if eventually, anything happens between us, then good. But right now, I won't burden him with my feelings."

Sehun rolled his eyes at that, but relented." Fine, then. Maybe you're right."

Baekhyun smiled, knowing he  _ was  _ right. After that, they changed the subject. Sehun's words stayed in his mind for the rest of the afternoon, though.

Of course, he couldn’t deny that he was scared thinking about the possibility of Chanyeol finding someone else and losing his chance again. He’d been pining after Chanyeol for years already, he’d seen him date people here and there and it had hurt every time. 

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to make a move, though. Chanyeol was hurt and his priority should be healing his heart. 

And Baekhyun, as his best friend, would support him every step of the way.

XXXX

That afternoon, Baekhyun received a text from Chanyeol asking to hang out. Knowing his best friend, Baekhyun knew he would want to stay in his apartment watching movies and eating junk food. Maybe he would cry at one point and would sulk for most of their time together.

While Baekhyun understood that crying could help a broken heart, Chanyeol did enough of that as it was and honestly, it hurt too much to see his love like that. So, instead of allowing Chanyeol to plan their hang out, Baekhyun insisted on being allowed to do so and asked the giant to meet him in front of that one fast food restaurant they frequented and to use comfortable clothes.

Chanyeol accepted without asking questions, thankfully, and promised to meet up with Baekhyun at seven.

Once together, Baekhyun kept quiet about what exactly he had planned for that night and Chanyeol followed him without asking either. The smaller could tell he was curious, though, the glint in his best friend's eyes making that clear.

They walked down the streets side by side, easy conversation about their day taking place. Eventually, though, silence took over, but it was a comfortable one.

It had always been like that between them. Hanging out, interacting, and keeping each other company had always been as easy as breathing. They didn't need to have small talk to feel comfortable with each other. In fact, silence prevailed between them, both simply allowing each other to enjoy the company that only their best friend could provide without the need of senseless conversation to fill up the space between them,

If anything, Baekhyun had learned to appreciate the power of communication because of his best friend. They'd had their ups and down and had been close to seeing their friendship's downfall at one point during high school because of their lack of communication. They had managed to fix it, though, once both had decided to let go of their prides and  _ talk. _ All it took to rebuild what had been damaged was a set of long messages filled with the frustrations they felt because of each other along with their fears and their insecurities. It had been cathartic in a way they had never experienced, but it had worked. Of course, not everything had been fixed immediately, but their honesty had been the stepping stone they needed towards repairing what hadn't been broken just yet.

Since then, Baekhyun had learned to be honest with Chanyeol and vice versa, their previous becoming stronger than it had previously been.

The lesson Baekhyun learned on that occasion had allowed him to learn to deal with different situations, be it with his other friends, his family, his classmates, his workmates, and even his lovers.

Said bonds, though, could never compare to the one he shared with his love. Only Chanyeol could make him feel completely at ease and only he could give Baekhyun the reassurance that he could be himself without being judged. 

... And it was for that reason that Baekhyun was so adamant on giving Chanyeol the space and the support to heal himself first before he confessed the only secret he had ever kept from him.

"So... I was thinking that it's been a while since we went skating," said Baekhyun as they stopped in front of the ice skating rink, a smile on his lips that gave away just how excited he felt.

Chuckling, Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun with an obvious fondness that made the smaller's heart flutter. "I should've seen this coming.”

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip sheepishly. "Well, we haven't com this year. I figured it was about time to do so."

Shaking his head, Chanyeol stared at the entrance for a moment. "Or maybe you just enjoy seeing me fall on my ass over and over again.”

With a hand on his chest feigning being offended, Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol with his mouth hanging open. "I would never. How dare you think so lowly of me?"

Raising an eyebrow, Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun with a playful frown. "Hmm... I don't know, maybe because you have laughed about it before...several times.”

Pouting, Baekhyun hit Chanyeol's arm before motioning for him to follow. Once inside, they paid the entrance fee and changed their shoes for the skates given to them. They joked around as they got ready, an air of easiness enveloping the both of them.

As usual, they were a mess as soon as their feet touched the ice. Chanyeol spent most of his time on the floor, but Baekhyun didn't fare any better. They laughed and followed each other around and simply enjoyed the time they were spending together.

Baekhyun couldn't help it but to stop and admire Chanyeol's beautiful features at one point, his eyes shining with a happiness that the smaller hadn't seen there in a long time. He hadn't even realized how much he missed seeing his best friend so relaxed and full of life until that moment.

A part of him wanted to hate Bora for hurting  _ his _ Chanyeol, for taking away that beauty and that purity that Baekhyun had always cherished so much. He wanted to hurt her back for what she did, but he knew he shouldn't. After all, Chanyeol hurt her too. The downfall of their relationship was both of their faults, not only hers. Besides, what happened was none of Baekhyun's businesses and he had no right to get involved. If anything, all he could do was protect Chanyeol's heart while the giant worked on healing it.

'I'll be a better guardian this time,' he thought, remembering the promise he'd made when they were both seven and the children at school had been relentlessly bullying Chanyeol over his ears. This time around, Baekhyun would do a better job at keeping Chanyeol's heart protected from any harm. No one would hurt him, not under his watch.

"Are you okay?" Asked Chanyeol as he took his skates off once the both of them had left the ice and had found a bench to sit on.

Shaking himself out of his train of thought, Baekhyun smiled. "Yeah, don't worry. Just thinking about some stuff from school."

Chanyeol looked at him intently, clearly not believing him. Baekhyun tried his best to keep his features devoid of the frustration and guilt in his heart, but Chanyeol knew him too well. Thankfully he didn't push it.

"Can we go eat? I'm kind of hungry," said Chanyeol instead.

Relieved by the change of subject, Baekhyun nodded with a grin on his lips.

After their shoes were on, they left the rink and walked down the street, easy conversation taking place once again.

As the night progressed, an air of peace had finally started to surround Chanyeol. He looked more at ease, more relaxed, and the light missing from his eyes had appeared once again, not as bright as before, it would take a while for it to reach that point again, but it was enough for the time being.

Satisfied with the progress, Baekhyun felt some of the tension on his shoulders ease up. Finally, he'd managed to be useful for his best friend. And while Chanyeol still had a long way to go before he could proudly say he was okay, whatever progress was made that night was enough for the moment.

Baekhyun hoped deep down that their time together also served to remind the giant that his best friend would always be by his side, ready to catch him when he fell. The smaller would always support him and protect him, no matter what happened.

XXXX

It was a couple of weeks after their night out that Baekhyun was caught completely off-guard. 

After seeing Chanyeol doing so well and finally making an effort to move on, Baekhyun had really started to believe that his relationship with Bora was over for good. Sadly, hope for possibly receiving a positive response from the giant if he confessed had also started to settle. 

Maybe that's why it hurt more than usual when Chanyeol told him that Bora and him had decided to try one more time, a beautiful smile on his face as he did so.

"We love each other and we figured we could try, you know? We have faith we can fix whatever problem there is."

Baekhyun felt his heart shatter at that, but really, he should've seen it coming. It had happened for three years already, why wouldn't it continue to do so? How silly of him to think he could protect Chanyeol from getting hurt when Chanyeol himself was the one putting himself in that situation. He couldn't help him if he didn't want to help himself.

And honestly, Baekhyun couldn't go on like this. He couldn't stop Chanyeol from continuing with a toxic relationship that was only breaking him apart. He tried, he really did, but he couldn't help him if he didn't want to help himself.

Seeing Chanyeol doing, being so careless with his own feelings only hurt the smaller’s already fragile heart further.

Baekhyun felt so sad, so hurt and so tired of it all. He'd hoped that this time around it would be different. He wished to tell Chanyeol, he wanted to shake him and make him understand that a relationship like his with Bora would never work. If that so called problem he mentioned hadn't been fixed the first or the second time they broke up, it wouldn't be fixed the twentieth either.

In that moment, all those feelings, all that  _ frustration _ turned into an anger so potent he couldn't explain where it came from...

...And it was like that that, for the first time since high school, Baekhyun had a fight with Chanyeol. He couldn't exactly recall what he said, the words "stupid" and "pathetic" and "useless" escaping his lips in rapid succession as he unloaded on Chanyeol the years of pent up frustration he'd bottled up.

"It's never going to work! When are you going to understand that? Love isn't fucking enough! It will never be enough!" He exclaimed at last, tears falling down his cheeks as the words he'd been hiding for so long finally escaped his lips.

A tense silence filled the air after that, only Baekhyun's heavy breathing interrupting it.

"How many times have you said the same thing, Chanyeol? How many times have you two broken up and made that same promise? I can't even begin to count at this point. And look, you know I love you and support you, but in this case, in this situation, I have to draw the line."

And finally, after calmly finishing his statement, Baekhyun gained the courage to look up. Chanyeol's eyes were filled with sadness, hurt, and anger, and for a moment, Baekhyun felt the urge to apologize. He didn't, though. Sure, he should've been more gentle with his words, but he knew everything he said was true.

"So you lied to me, huh? You said I wasn't pathetic, but that was a lie, wasn't it? You think that low of me," said Chanyeol, his voice wavery with emotion.

Frowning, Baekhyun shook his head. "That's not what I meant because no, I don't think  _ you're _ pathetic."

Chanyeol chuckled humorlessly at this, shaking his head as he looked down at his feet. "You might as well have. I thought you understood and I thought you would be happy for me, but I was wrong."

Baekhyun took a deep breath, thinking about how to say the next part of his statement without sounding like an absolute asshole. There was no way to take away the harshness of his words, though.

"I've always supported you and I will continue to do so, but..I also want what's best for you and this isn't it."

"How can you be so sure? I love her and she loves me. That's all that matters. If you can't support me then, perhaps..."

Baekhyun felt his heart pick up its pace, fear taking over his senses.

"Perhaps... I don't know, Baekhyun. I don't want to talk to you right now."

A small part of the smaller felt relieved, but that didn't stop his heart from hurting. "What do you mean?

"I don't know Baek, I don't know. Just...stay away from me for a while," he replied before he turned around and walked out of Baekhyun's dorm room, never once looking back.

Baekhyun didn't stop him. If that's what Chanyeol wanted, then he would respect him. That didn't stop his heart from shattering into minuscule pieces, heavy sobs leaving his chapped lips as it did so.

It was in that condition, crying like uncontrollably, curled up in his bed clutching onto the corgi plushie Chanyeol had given to him during the smaller's seventh birthday so many years before, that Kyungsoo, his roommate and friend, found him.

After a cuddling session Kyungsoo didn't usually like taking part of and a long conversation after Baekhyun calmed down, the smaller fell asleep, promising himself to let go of Chanyeol... For good this time. After all that would be the best for his damaged heart.

XXXX

Weeks passed and Baekhyun made sure to stay as far away as he could from Chanyeol. He didn't text him, he didn't call him, he didn't visit him. If they crossed paths, he made sure to keep walking, never once even sparing him a glance of any sorts.

 

Obviously, he was still hurt by the turn of events and well, maybe he should apologize for the way he dealt with the situation. He could've been kinder when telling Chanyeol what he did, but alas, it was too late to feel regretful. So instead of acting like the bigger adult, he avoided him childishly and continued with his life. Or at least tried.

"He doesn't say it, but he misses you," said Sehun one afternoon as they ate lunch together.

Sighing, Baekhyun played with his chopsticks. "And I miss him too."

"I know you do," added the younger before he leaned forward. "Why don't you talk to him? I'm sure you could fix things easily. Why would you throw away years of a friendship as beautiful as yours over a petty argument?"

Baekhyun knew he was right, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. "I need...time. Seeing him with her hurts too much, you know? And staying by his side while trying to forget _ my _ feelings for him doesn't work either. I know this could damage our friendship, but for once, I want to be selfish. I need to repair my heart and go back to feeling nothing but friendly affection for him," he said at last.

"Hmm, I get it. It's kind of weird, though, coming from you. You always praise the power of communication above everything else."

"And I still do. But communication is also about timing and..." Baekhyun frowned as he stared down at his half eaten plate of food. "I fucked up with him this time and, I don't know, maybe it's the sign I need to let go."

"I still think you should talk to him about it, but I also understand your point. I just hope you two can fix your friendship eventually."

'Me too,' Baekhyun thought.

XXXX

This had been the longest Chanyeol had ever gone without talking to Baekhyun and, honestly, it hurt. The smaller was such an important fixture of his life, always a phone call away if he needed him. This time around, though, things were different.

Sure, Chanyeol knew he'd asked for space. Maybe Baekhyun had been harsh with his words when addressing his discontent with Chanyeol's relationship, but Chanyeol had been the one to ask him to stay away. 

Baekhyun had always done as he'd asked, no matter what it was. This time around it seemed like Baekhyun would continue to please him. He didn't even look at him whenever they crossed paths and Chanyeol regretted it, he regretted asking him for space because, at the end of the, Baekhyun was the most important person in his life.

Chanyeol was too prideful, though, and tha _ t  _ was stopping him from making apologizing. Baekhyun had to apologize too, actually, but Chanyeol knew it wouldn't be fair to ask his best friend to do so. Not when Baekhyun had always been the one to make the first step.

In retrospective, Baekhyun always put the most effort into their friendship. Baekhyun always threw everything away if Chanyeol needed anything, be it day or night. He would go to Chanyeol, no matter the distance and no matter what he'd been doing at the time, whether it was studying, going on a date or gaming (the biggest sacrifice for the smaller, now that Chanyeol thought about it).

"What are you thinking about?" Asked Bora as she lifted her head from his naked chest, her eyebrow raised.

Biting his bottom lip, Chanyeol thought about whether he should tell her. After all, for whatever reason, she'd never been too fond of Baekhyun, something that Chanyeol hadn't really noticed until recently. She'd always respected their friendship, though, so Chanyeol figured he could open up to her.

"I just...I miss Baekhyun," he said at last with a sigh, the weight of his emotions finally visible for his girlfriend to see.

Bora's expression didn't change much, apart from the obvious purse of her lips. "He should apologize to you, babe. He was in the wrong.”

Chanyeol frowned at that. Was he, though?

The thought caught him off-guard. Where had it come from?

Baekhyun cared about Chanyeol like no one else did, so he understood why the smaller reacted the way he did. It had hurt, of course, and he could've found a better way of giving his opinion, but his intentions were good.

Chanyeol told Bora that exactly, taking Baekhyun's advice for once and deciding to openly communicate with Bora. She didn't seem to like it, though, since she sat up and glared at him.

"Are you saying he was right about us?”

Chanyeol followed her actions, a frown between his eyebrows. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what  _ did _ you mean?"

The taller stopped to think for a moment. Yeah, what did he mean? What truth did he find in Baekhyun's words? What did he agree with?

"We should be more honest with each other," he said slowly, thinking his words carefully as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

She raised an eyebrow. "You're saying we don't tell each other the truth? Because I do, Chanyeol."

"But you hide stuff, like the fact you never liked Baekhyun to begin with. And now that I think about it, that's always been a big problem in our relationship."

She rolled her eyes as she combed her messy hair with her fingers. "Well, because he's always  _ there _ , you know? If he needs anything, you always prioritize him. How many dates did you cancel because of him? Huh? And how many times were you texting or calling him when we were in the middle of something? Like that one time he called in the middle of a dinner we were having with my parents and you just left?"

Chanyeol remembered that occasion, and sure, he had been rude, but it had been an emergency. "He had appendicitis!"

"He could've asked someone else!"

"No one was available! He didn't want to interrupt us, but he needed  _ someone _ . No one answered his calls, only I did. What did you want me to do, leave him all alone?"

"Yes! You were with me!"

Chanyeol widened his eyes at that. "I had to take him to the hospital! If I didn't go, he would've gotten worse and- and-" He couldn't finish that sentence.

Chanyeol still remembered that day clearly. He'd been eating with Bora and her parents in some fancy restaurant he didn't remember the name of when Baekhyun had called him. He'd ignored it the first time, but when the smaller tried again, Chanyeol figured it had to be important. Baekhyun wasn't one to interrupt his time with Bora if it wasn't necessary.

His best friend crying on the other end of the line, begging Chanyeol to buy him some painkillers for a stomach ache that had hit him out of nowhere had put him in alert mode. He rushed out of that place immediately and when he'd arrived at the smaller's dorm, he'd been a mess of tears and sweat crying on his bed, curled up as the pain became worse with each passing minute.

Needless to say, a visit to the hospital had told them exactly what was going on and if they would've waited longer, Baekhyun would probably not be around anymore.

The thought made Chanyeol's heart hurt. Never in his life had he been more scared. He could never lose Baekhyun. He was the most important person in his life.

Feeling the anger, fear, and sadness from back then rush through him like a tidal wave, he glared at his girlfriend. "I can't believe you right now. How dare you say something like this? I can't believe you could feel this way when my best friend's  _ life _ was on the line!"

Bora bit her bottom lip, guilt shining in her eyes." Chanyeol-"

"I honestly don't understand why you feel this way about him. He's always been respectful to you. You say I canceled dates? Like two or three times, and all for very valid reasons I thought you would understand. Maybe you never knew, but he always kept a respectful distance. Those times I canceled on you were because he had no one else to turn to. There were many times I couldn't be there for him because he didn't want to be a burden for us, for our relationship. And it isn't like he ever told me. Sehun is always the one telling me about this and when I confront Baekhyun he always says the same thing, that he didn't want to bother us."

Bora lowered her head at that, and in any other occasion, Chanyeol would've felt bad, but in that moment, he didn't care.

"So yeah, maybe I do agree with what he said. We have a toxic relationship. We don't ever talk, we don't fix our issues and we probably never will."

Bora met his eyes at that, her eyes shining with understanding.  "You think we should end it?”

"Yeah, I do," he said without hesitation. "For good this time."

She sighed as she lay down on her bed. "Well, at least we tried."

Chanyeol didn't reply. Instead, he opted to dress silently. Once he was ready, he proceeded to leave, but before walking out of the room, he stopped. He didn't look back, though, not this time. "Maybe we shouldn't have." And with that, he left.

Oddly enough, maybe he should've felt more hurt, but he didn't. If anything, he felt...relieved. And he didn't know why.

He needed someone to talk to, but shame and pride stopped him from contacting Baekhyun.

Instead, he texted Sehun, asking to meet up and, thankfully, the younger replied fast.

'Sure, I'll be at your apartment around 8.'

Not bothering with sending a reply, Chanyeol walked away, feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

XXXX

Baekhyun wasn't one to sleep around. One night stands and casual fucking had never been appealing to him in any way. He much preferred the beauty of sensual attraction related to affection. And while he'd never  _ loved _ any of the people he'd dated, he'd enough about them to feel something whenever they engaged in sexual activities.

Still, he indulged in the world of mindless fucking every once in a while and that afternoon, he'd felt the urge to relieve some stress.

Junmyeon was a guy from his class that he'd dated the previous year and while they both cared for each other's well-being and had felt comfortable dating, love had never developed between them. They did have great sexual chemistry, though, and would hook up every once in a blue moon if they felt up to it.

It wasn't anything special, just a simple rumple between the sheets before they both went their separate ways as if nothing of the sort had happened.

And it was as Baekhyun walked back to his dorm that he bumped into  _ him. _

"Sorry," he said before he looked up, only to meet Chanyeol's beautiful eyes. He wanted to stare since he'd missed him, but it hurt too much to do so as it reminded him of what he could never have. That's why he found the will to avert his gaze before he continued walking, ignoring Chanyeol's pleas for him to stop.

He was being stupid, of course. He'd yearned for Chanyeol to speak to him first and now that he had, he'd foolishly walked away. He was weak, though, and scared. He couldn't stand the thought of going back to the same state of pain and misery he'd been stuck in while watching Chanyeol hurt himself with a fruitless relationship.

Also, he didn't want to talk with Chanyeol when his ass was still sore from his activities barely twenty minutes before. While he knew he had done nothing wrong, for whatever reason, he felt guilty after bumping into Chanyeol.

Instead of pondering on that, though, he focused on his school work, trying to get his mind off of Chanyeol.

Days passed after that, with them turning into even more weeks. Two entire months since his fight with Chanyeol had passed and neither made a move to communicate.

If at least he would've felt like he had moved on the slightest from his love from Chanyeol then he could excuse his stupid behavior on that, but sadly, that wasn't the case at all. If anything, his feelings had grown, and with each second that passed by, the wound only continued to expand.

What a fool he was. He could just speak to Chanyeol, follow his own advice about open communication to fix his issue with the giant, but of course, he couldn't do that. He was too ashamed of his behavior at that point to approach his friend.

"Why can't you just talk to him?" Asked Kyungsoo one afternoon when they were both lounging around in their dorm room doing homework.

Baekhyun sighed as he closed the thick textbook on his lap. "I'm too embarrassed."

Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo copied Baekhyun's actions before he turned around and met Baekhyun's gaze. "Of what?"

"Of what I said and of avoiding him all this time," he whispered.

"Oh please. Yeah, you were harsh, but everything you said was true, and I'm pretty sure he knows that since he did end up breaking up with Bora.”

Of course Baekhyun knew that much. Sehun had very kindly told him about the break up and this time, his friend said,  _ he _ was sure the relationship was over for good. And for Sehun of all people to say that...it had to mean it was true.

"Still, I shouldn't have been so mean," he said with pout.

"Okay, let's say I agree with that. It still doesn't explain why you keep running away every time he's near. Just follow your own advice and  _ talk _ to him."

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, knowing he was right. Still he didn't know how to make that first move. Yes, he firmly believed that speaking could fix most issues, but that didn't erase the uncertainty he was feeling.

And that uncertainty remained for the rest of the afternoon as he got ready for a party at some rich kid's house he'd been invited to. Maybe that could take his mind off of his best friend and the fact that they had a conversation waiting to take place.

'I'll talk to him tomorrow,' he thought as he looked for clothes to wear, knowing full well that he was lying to himself.

XXXX

Chanyeol had been doing a lot of thinking late. Ever since his conversation with Sehun after his breakup with Bora he'd taken his time to really rethink many aspects of his life. Strangely enough, the breakup didn't hurt as much as it should've. At least not as it did the second to last time when he'd promised Baekhyun it would be the last. In a way, Chanyeol understood that a part of him already  _ knew _ it wouldn't work, especially after Baekhyun's words. 

What did hurt, though, was the way Baekhyun had been avoiding him. The only time Chanyeol had mustered up the courage to try to talk to him, he'd been ignored. Baekhyun had actually walked away from him even after he begged him to stop. 

He could've gone after him, of course, and insisted on being heard, but the red mark he'd seen on Baekhyun's neck along with the very obvious limp in his walk had stirred something in his heart that Chanyeol could only describe as unpleasant. He knew what Baekhyun had done. Of course, Chanyeol had been conscious of the fact that Baekhyun was sexually active and it had never bothered him... Not like it did in that moment.

Of course, Sehun had very nicely called him a dense asshat after that before he proceeded to tell him he would  _ not _ tell him what it meant.

As time passed and Chanyeol observed his best friend from a distance, he did a lot of thinking of his own and the answer was right  _ there _ , still out of his reach, but so close Chanyeol was sure he would soon be able to figure it out.

He decided to give Baekhyun further space, though, and figured he could use it to sort out the mess inside his head.

And it was with that mess in mind that he decided to go to a party with Sehun and Jongdae, thinking some alcohol could clear his mind.

The night started out uneventful, the events taking place around the spacious house the same as in every other party he'd been to. Bored out of his mind, Chanyeol stood to one side of the spacious living room turned dance floor absent-mindedly, contemplating the possibility of leaving.

He stopped himself, though, when he saw Baekhyun walk in with his friend Kyungsoo by his said and immediately, he was awestruck. The smaller had dyed his hair back to black and had styled it in a messy manner, the front parted in the middle. He'd also applied eyeliner to accentuate the droopy form of his eyes and had chosen to use a black t shirt that fit him just right along with a pair of black skinny jeans that accentuated the form of his plump ass and thighs.

...He looked sexy as fuck...

Chanyeol's already racing heart further picked its pace once the smaller smiled, making his sexy features turn downright ethereal and angelic.

For a moment, Chanyeol felt everything around him disappear as his mind could only focus around Baekhyun,  _ only _ Baekhyun, and  _ nothing  _ else. The people, the alcohol, the music, it all disappeared.

_ Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun _ , his mind chanted and he didn't understand why, but he didn't fight it either.

He allowed himself to let go and to  _ feel, _ his heart racing as Baekhyun spoke to different people, as he laughed, as he gracefully made his way around the crowd. He focused on him and him only and it was...strange, but it wasn't unpleasant.

That was, of course, until he saw Baekhyun with someone else, a guy. Jongin? Was that his name? Chanyeol didn't remember and honestly, he didn't care. All that mattered was Baekhyun.

Chanyeol's eyes followed Baekhyun's movements, the way he swayed his hips in tandem to the rhythm, the way his features turned dangerous as he pressed his body closer to his dance partner, or how his hands slowly tangled in the guy's hair as their lips met.

He couldn't understand the sudden pressure he felt in his chest, or the way air couldn't make its way into his lungs properly or how his eyes filled with tears. He felt dumb, of course, for understanding that the answer to the way he was feeling was right there, just waiting for him to realize, but he didn't know why, couldn't say exactly what it meant. It was a foreign feeling, one he couldn't compare to anything, and so he felt frustrated as he willed himself to look away, but his body refused to respond to his command.

As if he could tell, Baekhyun opened his eyes and his gaze met Chanyeol's from over the guy's shoulder and he...he continued kissing him, but his eyes were filled with emotions Chanyeol couldn't pinpoint. That acknowledgement from his best friend, though, served as a way to unfreeze time around him and finally... Finally Chanyeol was able to look away.

He took the opportunity to walk away, his mind pleading for him to look for an exit. He ended up passing the equally packed kitchen and finding a backyard that was surprisingly empty.

Relieved, he walked to the edge, right where a tall, concrete wall marked the end of the property. He leaned against it and slowly sank down, his head tilted backwards as he closed his eyes.

He allowed himself to think in that moment, trying his best to conjure the answers for the questions running around in his head, but he still couldn't grasp exactly what it was. It was frustrating, maddening, and in a way, it made him feel sad...sad for not being able to understand himself and his feelings for his best friend.

"Why am I not surprised I would find you here?" He heard a voice ask from above him, a voice he knew well and that made him feel warm inside instantly.

Opening his, eyes he smiled up at his best friend, and patted the spot next to him. "You know I'm not too fond of crowds. It was getting suffocating," he replied as Baekhyun accepted his invitation.

Both of them sighed as, in synchronization, they both looked up at the night sky at the same time. 

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time after a moment of silence.

They glanced at each other after that and bursted out into laughter. Baekhyun leaned into Chanyeol, his forehead on his shoulder as Chanyeol leaned his forehead on Baekhyun's head and in that moment... Whatever fear the giant had been feeling of possibly losing his best friend vanished.

It took them a while, but when they finally calmed down, they leaned away from each other, but their gaze was stuck, silly smiles present on the corner of their lips.

"Why are you apologizing?" Asked Chanyeol first, figuring out it was best to finally be honest.

Baekhyun took a deep breath before he smiled sadly, his eyes shining with something akin to fear. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I was frustrated, yeah, because seeing you hurt yourself hurts me too and I-I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to protect you, yeah? I wanted to keep you safe from hurting yourself anymore. And when you told me you would get back with her I just, I thought about that, about how staying in that cycle would hurt you and I panicked. I reacted badly and said things I shouldn't have and I'm just so sorry for that because _ I _ ended up hurting you and- and I just feel horrible about it," said the smaller tears starting to shine in his eyes. “I simply had no right.”

Chanyeol understood his point of view, of course, but he couldn't accept having his best friend feeling that way. Not when he knew he had nothing but good intentions in mind when he said what he did. Even if it hurt, Chanyeol knew everything Baekhyun said was true.

And so he voiced that out. "You were right, though. Everything you said. We clung on to something that wasn't going to work no matter how much we tried. It was bound to fall from the very first break up. We didn't see it, we didn't  _ want  _ to see it, and it took us long to realize it. Too long, actually. And while you were harsh, everything you said  _ was _ true. So please don't feel bad because just like you, I can't stand the thought of you hurting in any way, shape or form. And when I asked you to stay away, when I kept you away from me and ignored you, I hurt  _ you _ , I did the same thing. So yeah, I feel guilty too. I hope you can forgive me."

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip as he nodded, tears now streaming down his cheeks. He then jumped into his arms, burying his face in his chest.

And just like that, with a simple honest talk, they fixed the issue that had been keeping them apart. There was more to work on, of course, but with time, they would fix whatever had been bruised.

XXXX

That night, Baekhyun stayed over at Chanyeol's and they both took the chance to make up for all the time they spent apart. They stayed up till late playing videogames the way they'd always done, laughing, and teasing and play-fighting. Eventually, they fell asleep in Chanyeol's bed, cuddling each other at first, but later in the night tangling in a mess of limbs and blankets.

The following morning, Chanyeol had taken it upon himself to prepare breakfast while Baekhyun sat on the counter, telling him all about a project in one of his classes that he thought he'd fail, but in the end aced like a pro. And when the food was ready, they ate on the couch in front of the TV, watching One Piece together in silence as they were both engrossed in the events taking place in the show.

Finally, after months of uncertainty, Chanyeol felt content, Baekhyun finally by his side. There was something more, though, something that was still nagging him, but he couldn't tell exactly what it was. If anything, he felt stupid for not being able to figure out his feelings. It was frustrating too, but he tried not to linger too much on that, his top priority being enjoying his time with Baekhyun.

Hours passed as they both continued to watch their anime, each one making comments here and there, but mostly paying attention. Occasionally, though, Baekhyun would type on his phone with a silly smile on his face and Chanyeol's heart beat painfully every time. Baekhyun hadn't told him anything about the guy he'd been with at the party. What if they were dating?

Baekhyun was free to do as he pleased, of course, and dammit, Chanyeol had seen him date before. He couldn't understand why the thought of it bothered him now. In retrospective, though, seeing him with other people had always made him feel strange, but he'd never really known  _ why _ exactly. He always brushed it off at being worried they would hurt Baekhyun, but now... Now he understood it wasn't the case.

"Sehun is such an idiot," said Baekhyun as he giggled.

"Why?" asked Chanyeol with a raspy voice after he composed himself.

"He keeps teasing me about Jongin. Like we're dating or something," he said as he typed on his phone.

Chanyeol frowned at that, unable to hide his emotions. " _ Are _ you dating him?"

Surprised by the question, Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol. The smaller studied the giant's features for a moment, before smiling. "Nope."

"A-are you going to?"

Chanyeol waited for the reply in anticipation.

Baekhyun shook his head. "No, I'm not. We've hooked up before, but 'the spark' isn't there," said Baekhyun.

For whatever reason, Chanyeol felt relief run through his veins, his shoulders relaxing instantly after the smaller words. 

"Why do you ask?" added Baekhyun with his head tilted to the side, resembling a puppy.

"Just curious," said Chanyeol.

Baekhyun snorted. "Sure. Anyway, no, I'm not planning to date him. He wants to, but I don't. Not really."

"Why?"

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip before a small, sad smile spread across his lips. "The person I love doesn't love me back."

Frowning even deeper than before, Chanyeol felt his words bother him. He ignored the unknown and uncomfortable feeling in his chest and instead focused on the sudden anger he felt.

"What do you mean- you're in love? And with some idiot that can't appreciate you the way you deserve? You're actually telling me some  _ asshole _ stole your heart only to not take care of it the way you deserve?"

"Chany-"

"You're beautiful, yeah? Both inside and out, you're so kind and pure and talented and hard-working. Like who  _ wouldn't  _ love you back? Who dared? You should be treated like a prince... No wait! Not a prince, like a  _ king _ , because that's what you are, a king who deserves nothing but the best and who should be protected and cherished and pampered, yeah?"

Baekhyun looked speechless, with unreadable emotions shining in his eyes. That only prompted Chanyeol to continue because, no, he couldn't have it. No, he's best friend deserved  _ only  _ the absolute best.

"Who's the shithead? Hmm? Tell me, Baekhyun, tell who that idiot is so I can kick his ass," he said, determined to find whoever it was and giving him a lesson or two on how to properly treat his best friend.

Baekhyun burst into laughter at that, his eyes tinkling with merriment and joy and fondness. His smile was beautiful and bright and his features... his  _ stunning, perfect _ features filled with so much light that Chanyeol felt his heart skip several heartbeats and that- that was when he finally realized.

He was in love with his best friend.

All those strange feelings he'd felt all his life, all the butterflies, all the warmth, all the joy, all the tears, all the pain, all the laughs, all the jealousy, all the fear….All the  _ things _ he felt whenever he was around Baekhyun, whenever he thought about him, whenever he  _ touched  _ him... It all made sense now.

And now he understood why Sehun called him a dense asshat because, dammit, he really was one. How could he never tell? His feelings were right there, waiting for him to realize, to understand, yet he missed the signs.

He was an idiot. He really was, and there was nothing more he wanted than to punch himself because how, just  _ how _ could he have not realized it earlier?

He was left in a state of disbelief for the rest of the afternoon until Baekhyun left, demanding for the giant to rest because "you don't look well, Yeollie."

If only he could tell him how he felt, but he needed to sort out his feelings and his thoughts first.He had to understand just where his feelings stood before he made a move. So, as soon as Baekhyun left, he called Sehun. He didn't wait for Sehun to reply before he blurted it out.

"I'm in love with Baekhyun," he said in one breath, his heart beating fast.

Sehun was silent for a moment before he started chuckling. "Well, finally."

"Yeah, finally. I'm so dumb."

"You are very dumb, but at least you know now. Took you long enough. How did you find out, though?"

And so Chanyeol told him, starting from the events from the previous night until what happened that afternoon, leaving out no details.

"Interesting."

"D-do you know who Baekhyun's in love with?" he asked with a shaky voice, fearful of what Sehun's response would be.

Sehun burst into laughter on the other said of the line. "Oh come on! You Already figured out your feelings, yet you still can't tell who Baekhyun was talking about?"

It wasn't that Chanyeol didn't  _ know _ because, as soon as clarity hit him, he understood. It had more to do with the fact that he was scared,  _ terrified _ of confirming he had hurt his Baekhyun that much, and who knew for how long.

He couldn't bear the thought of knowing he'd broken his best friend's heart endless times. And even if it meant never having his feelings reciprocated, a small part of him wished that indeed, Baekhyun wasn't in love with  _ him _ .

So he told Sehun this exactly. He vented out his fears, his guilt, his pain, and his hopes, too. Because even if guilt for how stupid he'd been prevailed in his heart, he also wished to make up for it. He wanted to fight for Baekhyun, he wanted to protect him and cherish him and love him properly the way he should've from the start. Sehun listened. He didn't interrupt, he just allowed Chanyeol to let out everything he was feeling, and he murmured words of encouragement when the giant started to cry.

And when Chanyeol was done, he gave him advice.

"Then do it. Fight for him. Don't let anyone else sweep him off his feet. Don't allow Jongin or Junmyeon or anyone else to win him over, Chanyeol. This is your chance, so take it.”

Chanyeol promised himself that he would. He had to make up for his mistakes and for the suffering he caused his best friend.

He would show him how much he loved him. It was time for him to do so.

XXXX

Chanyeol had been acting strange for weeks and Baekhyun didn't know what to think about it. The giant had always been clingy and cuddly, but now he was even more so, leaving kisses all over Baekhyun's face and hair as a common occurrence. Baekhyun wasn't about to complain, of course, since it felt amazing to have the love of his life giving him so much attention, but it still didn't change the fact that it was weird.

Still, he enjoyed it while it lasted, and even allowed himself to become delusional of Chanyeol's real intentions. Perhaps... Perhaps he felt the same way Baekhyun did? It was wishful thinking, but hope planted itself in Baekhyun's heart and nothing would get it out of there.

Sehun and Kyungsoo insisted that perhaps what he called "delusion" wasn't delusion afterall. Maybe Chanyeol had finally seen how Baekhyun felt for him and finally, after so long, fell in love.

He stopped those thoughts when he saw the texts Chanyeol received from Bora, though, texts begging for another chance, begging to fight for a love that even Baekhyun's rational side could see was dead in Chanyeol.

"I wish she would stop," said Chanyeol one afternoon.

"Why don't you tell her?" Asked Baekhyun nonchalantly, or at least as much as he could be, his heart beating with cold anticipation of what Chanyeol's next words could be.

Chanyeol ran a hand through his hair, the tv in his living room sounding in the background. "I did, I told her it was over. I explained why we would never work out, yet she keeps insisting. And so, now all I can think of doing is ignore her."

He gulped after that and lowered his gaze, as if pondering carefully about what to say next. "Because... How could I ever go back to her, how could I ever go back to a relationship with no future, a relationship with no real feelings involved, a relationship that was so stale and dead it was slowly burning me alive and blinding me from  _ seeing _ the truth."

Baekhyun met Chanyeol's eyes at that, expectant of his best friend's next words. "Why would I risk losing the love of my life over a relationship that's nothing more than a lie.”

Baekhyun's breath hitched at that, his heart racing at what his best friend had just said. He should've felt hurt at the possibility that Chanyeol  _ loved _ someone. But he didn't because the look in his eyes, the intensity in them spoke a message deep into his soul, into his heart, a message that... No, it couldn't be, could it?

And even as he tried to push down the hope that bloomed in his heart, it was impossible.

But then Chanyeol's hand cupped his cheek gently, his eyes still studying his with penetrating intensity and he very slowly started to lean in until his breath hit Baekhyun's slightly parted lips.

"I've lost enough time running after someone I thought was the one, when the real owner of my heart and of my soul had been right in front of me all along," murmured the giant before his plush pink lips glided over Baekhyun's softly, a mere caress that spoke volumes of Chanyeol's feelings for him.

Baekhyun couldn't move, couldn't blink, couldn't  _ breathe _ , but Chanyeol stayed the same, moving his lips in a sensual manner, massaging Baekhyun's lips with patience, with kindness, with a love that had been hidden for too long, love that had been locked away for longer than it should've and _ that  _ love,  _ that _ same emotion that Baekhyun had never thought would be reciprocated, made something inside him explode, his long buried emotions, all the frustration, all the worry, all the pain, all the misery, all the anger, and all the blatant affection he'd kept hidden suddenly gave in from the pressure they had been hidden under and finally...finally he was able to respond, to move his lips and to reciprocate Chanyeol's actions. Finally, after so long, he was able to let go, to allow himself to show and to  _ feel _ without the lingering fear of losing the most important person in his life.

...And it was beautiful. He finally felt complete, the gaping hole in his chest now full with emotions he couldn't contain.

Tears of joy, of hurt, of regret, of  _ love _ streamed down his soft cheeks, staining his soft skin, making the scars he'd hidden through the years physically visible. He continued kissing Chanyeol, though, more fervently this time, his fingers now buried in his best friend's hair, pulling and tangling and keeping him grounded in the myriad of emotions he was drowning in.

But it could only last so long, since his emotions, now set free like a hurricane, flooded him in overwhelming waves and he could barely hold on.

It all felt like a dream, one he would soon wake up from, one that would end before he could even start to enjoy having Chanyeol, the love of his life, love him back. He needed to keep himself grounded, he needed to get back to Earth, he needed to think, to  _ feel _ ...

So, desperate, he pushed Chanyeol back and sat on his lap, his legs on either side of the giant's hips.

"Baek-”

Baekhyun didn't allow him to speak,  _ couldn't _ allow him. He needed Chanyeol, he needed to touch him and worship him the way he wanted to before he woke up from this dream.

Baekhyun's lips became demanding, biting Chanyeol's lips and licking them, and then his tongue and the roof of his mouth and all over, tasting what he'd wanted to for so long, relishing in the heady taste that was purely  _ Chanyeol _ .

It was addicting, and the more Baekhyun got the more he wanted.

His hips, set directly on top of Chanyeol's growing bulge, started to move on their own accord, having a mind of their own as Baekhyun continued to kiss Chanyeol like it would be the last time he could... And it really felt like that.

Chanyeol's hands on his hips stopped him and Baekhyun whined when Chanyeol finally managed to move his head back slightly, his eyes meeting Baekhyun with emotions the smaller simply couldn't read, not in that moment when  _ he _ himself was feeling too much.

"Baek, baby, you need to slow down, you need to breathe," said Chanyeol as his thumb ran soothing circles on his cheek.

Baekhyun closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch, trying his best to focus on Chanyeol.

"I-I've loved you for so long," he said without thinking,whatever filter he'd imposed on his himself now gone. "I can't believe this is happening. I've been hiding how I feel for so so long that this, kissing you, touching you, feels like a figment of my imagination.”

"I'm sorry Baek," murmured Chanyeol, but Baekhyun didn't reply, not the way Chanyeol had accepted, at least. Instead, Baekhyun leaned in again and bit his bottom lip before finally opening his teary eyes and, with fierce determination, uttered the words he'd been holding on for so long. "I need you, Chanyeol. I need you to touch me right now... I need you inside me. I need you to ground me, please.”

Chanyeol looked ready to protest, but something in Baekhyun's face must've stopped him. "Are you sure about this?"

Baekhyun nodded, determined to see this through. "I want you right now, please."

Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun’s forehead tenderly before standing up, Baekhyun secured in his arms as he took him to his bedroom. He lay Baekhyun gently on the bed before following along.

They kissed again, slowly this time, as their hands touched, clothes being discarded as they continued to taste. They took it slow, Chanyeol exploring every inch of soft skin he came in contact with, his hands soothing the spots his lips tortured. Previously unblemished white skin was now full of marks that would stay for days, serving as a reminder to Baekhyun of what was happening.

And he loved it.

Chanyeol was thorough, leaving no inch of skin unblemished, from his neck to his legs, there were marks everywhere.

And when he took Baekhyun into his mouth, he took his time tasting, running his tongue down the vein of Baekhyun's throbbing cock slowly, massaging every part of it before sucking hard at the tip. He continued the same way, bobbing his head with patience as Baekhyun held tightly to his hair, sensations running through his body that he couldn't control.

"P-Please, Ye-Yeollie, please," he begged, his voice pitching high as his eyes shut close Chanyeol didn't relent, though, and continued torturing him with his mouth, speeding up his pace as he took the smaller length all in before letting go and sucking on the tip hard.

It was too much and he was about to tip over the edge, the pleasure now so so close to reaching its peak...

And Chanyeol let go, his lips leaving Baekhyun's cock with a pop.

Baekhyun looked down at his best friend, sad that he hadn't been allowed to come, but trusting Chanyeol, knowing he would make up for it soon.

The giant looked positively disheveled, his hair a wild mess and his lips deliciously swollen. Baekhyun had never seen Chanyeol like that and a part of him fell even more in love with the sight. Another part of his best friend that had been unknown to him would now be stored in his heart along with all the precious quirks he'd fallen in love with through the years.

And with the same tender and care he showed before, Chanyeol kissed his lips slowly, his tongue massaging his with a care that had Baekhyun's toes curling.

In that same manner, Chanyeol prepped him, adding fingers only when Baekhyun assured him he was ready. He took his time, whispering words of affection in Baekhyun's ear as his fingers opened him up, moving in and out of him at an even pace, heightening the pleasure Baekhyun was feeling in that moment.

When he was ready, Chanyeol pulled out before bracing both arms on either side of Baekhyun's head and looking down at him with affection. "Are you sure? We can stop if you want to."

Shaking his head, Baekhyun reached up and ran his fingers softly over Chanyeol's cheek. "I want  _ you _ , Chanyeol. I want this... right now. So please, don't stop," he murmured.

Reassured, Chanyeol smiled and leaned down to peck Baekhyun's lips before reaching over to his night stand, but Baekhyun stopped him.

"No condom, please. I want all of you inside me," he said. "I know you're clean, and so am I. I trust you."

Chanyeol bit his bottom lip, as if running Baekhyun's words in his mind before nodding. "Alright then.”

Chanyeol ran his fingers down Baekhyun's leg before stopping at his knee and pushing, hooking it over his hips as he positioned himself, his hand wrapped around his own cock.

"Ready?" He asked.

Too overwhelmed to speak, Baekhyun only nodded.

Chanyeol slowly entered Baekhyun's heat, pausing whenever he whimpered or winced. To comfort him, he leaned down and whispered reassuring words in his ear, leaving soft kisses all over his cheeks and his forehead as he moved, waiting for Baekhyun to be ready. When he was fully inside, he waited, his lips caressing Baekhyun's cheek and Baekhyun was grateful because no one had ever been that considerate with him.

And when he was ready, he moved his head to the side and kissed Chanyeol's lips softly. "You can move now.”

So Chanyeol did, very slowly, taking his time, his movements slow and precise, as he held onto Baekhyun in his arms closely, their foreheads touching as pleasure took over.

Slowly, Chanyeol increased his pace, his thrusts speeding up as he sought out more. And Baekhyun... was seeing stars, his other leg joining the other, pulling Chanyeol closer to him, his fingers digging deeply onto Chanyeol's toned back.

It was too much, the way Chanyeol was touching him, was making him feel, taking his time looking for Baekhyun's release, moving fast inside of him, his cock sliding against the walls enveloping it, looking for that spot... that one spot that would turn Baekhyun insane...

And when he did find it, Baekhyun lost his vision for a moment as tingles of electricity ran through his body. He screamed in pleasure, forgetting about what the neighbors might think, not caring about them, about  _ anyone _ because it was  _ his _ Chanyeol who was making him feel that way, finally, after waiting for years.

"I-I love you so much, Yeollie," he gasped, his mind a frenzy as Chanyeol continued to move. "I love you, I'm so happy. I love you."

That only pushed Chanyeol forward, his hips moving more relentlessly as his length hit Baekhyun's sweet spot over and over, driving him insane.

And through it all, through the hard thrusts, through the almost animalistic groans leaving his lips and the through the hard bites on Baekhyun's skin, Chanyeol still treated him like a delicate doll that had to be touched with the utmost care.

He was worshiping him with his touch, with his lips, with his words... And it was all too much for Baekhyun, who came hard, like never before, his vision going white as wave after wave of electric shots ran through his body, from the tip of his toes, to the skin on his scalp. It was long, the longest orgasm of his life, as he lost himself in the way Chanyeol was making him feel. All the lust, all the passion, all the care, all the pain, all the  _ love _ , everything piled up and turned into one, making Baekhyun feel like he'd never felt before and it was... Beautiful.

And through his high, he could feel Chanyeol ready to pull out to release himself, but Baekhyun would have none of that.

Through the haze he found himself in, he tightened his hold ln Chanyeol and shook his head. "No no, don't go. Inside, I want you inside."

Chanyeol relented and as his movements became messy, Baekhyun felt his hot seed fill him up nicely, warm and reassuring because it was all Chanyeol,  _ his  _ Chanyeol,  _ his _ love... The only one he'd ever loved and the only he ever will.

It became too much to him and, wrapped in the arms of a sweaty, breathless Chanyeol, Baekhyun found himself crying.

Sobs, deep and painful, escaped his lips as everything he hadn't been able to control before started to settle inside him and finally finding himself grounded, wrapped up in the love of his life's embrace the way he'd needed for so long.

Chanyeol held him through it, not letting go for a second, murmuring soft apologies and words of love and promises of what's to come in his ear, his fingers running circles on his back and his lips leaving soft pecks on his nose, on his cheeks, on his forehead and on his hair until Baekhyun was able to breathe again, his shoulders and his chest now feeling lighter, the pressure on them finally gone after years of bottling up his feelings and his thoughts and his words... Finally, he could let go of that and show Chanyeol just how much he meant to him.

"I love you," he whispered as his eyes slowly closed, sleep now looming over him with a promise of a new start lingering in the air.

"I love you too, baby. So so much," he heard Chanyeol reply before he fell asleep, a peaceful smile on his lips as he felt like everything was finally right for the first time in his life.

XXXX

When Baekhyun woke up the following morning, he felt well-rested for the first time in a long time. The stress of university had really been taking its toll on him and well, of course, Chanyeol's strange behavior. 

 

Now, though, his behavior made sense and knowing that his feelings were returned, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

He smiled, his eyes still closed, as he snuggled deeper into Chanyeol's warm chest, relishing in how warm he felt. Sure, they'd cuddled many times before, but on this occasion, it was different.

It felt strange to finally be with Chanyeol, even if they hadn't really established where their relationship stood. The label didn't matter, at least not for the moment, not when Baekhyun finally felt confident of his friend's feelings for him. Chanyeol wasn't one for one nightstands, he was all about "sex with feelings," so Baekhyun was at peace knowing that the night they shared meant  _ something _ and that his words were sincere.

Smiling, he planted a soft kiss on the exposed skin next to his cheek before lying down again, wrapping his arm more tightly around Chanyeol's waist.

"Good morning," said Chanyeol, his voice deep and heavy with sleep.

Feeling giddy, Baekhyun moved slightly to look at him with the goofiest smile he'd shown his best friend in  _ years _ . "Good morning.”

Chanyeol smiled down at Baekhyun and ran his fingers through his hair. "Someone's in a good mood," he said with a fond smile.

Baekhyun grinned brightly as he eyed Chanyeol, his love shining through without feeling the need to hide it, not anymore. "I'm just so happy right now.”

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling any more than he already was, he didn't want to look creepy after all. "I've been longing for this to happen for so long, for you to look at me the same way I look at you. It just seems so surreal. I can't believe it.” He took a deep breath as he found a more comfortable position to look at Chanyeol, which ended up with him lying on top of him, his forearms on his chest and their legs intertwined. "I'm so overwhelmed with emotions right now, with happiness, with excitement, and even with fear. It'll take some time to get used to it."

Chanyeol caressed Baekhyun's cheek tenderly at that, a small smile on his lips. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize. I must've hurt you so much and I don't know where to begin to make it up to you. I'll do it, though.” He bit his bottom lip as he prompted Baekhyun to move up until their lips were brushing together. "I'll treat you so well any scars I left in your heart will disappear," he murmured before he kissed Baekhyun, their lips molding perfectly as their eager fingers explored.

Baekhyun enjoyed the attention, moaning into Chanyeol's mouth when the giant ran his fingers down his back and over his ass. Tingles ran up and down his body, his skin burning with the brush of Chanyeol's gentle touch.

"You have a beautiful body," murmured Chanyeol as he planted kisses down Baekhyun's neck, nipping gently as he moved along. "Your skin is perfect too," he murmured before his big hands grabbed his ass and squeezed making Baekhyun squeal in surprise. "And your ass is the best ass I've ever seen."

The taller continued to kneed it as his lips joined Baekhyun's again, immediately entering his mouth with his tongue and exploring to his heart's content.

Baekhyun felt his cock grow hard and didn't feel embarrassed when he started to grind it against Chanyeol's toned abs. The friction felt amazing, small whimpers and moans escaping his lips, feeling tingles of pleasure run through his body.

"Ah Ch-Chanyeol, I want to ride you," he said, breathless from their kiss.

Widening his eyes, Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun for a moment. "Aren't you sore?”

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip. "A little, but I don't care," he said as he leaned closer to Chanyeol. "I need you inside me right now," he murmured.

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol's eyes shine with an inner conflict. The shorter knew that Chanyeol had always hated inflicting any kind of pain on him. He'd always been very overprotective of Baekhyun, ever since they were young. If anything Baekhyun found it endearing, even when it was stopping him from having his brain fucked out of him. Once again, Chanyeol was the first to actually care if it hurt or not.

Still, he wanted it. He craved having Chanyeol filling him with his length, and so, he made his best puppy eyes and pouted. "Please Chanyeollie."

And really, how could Chanyeol resist that? He'd never been able to and Baekhyun knew that.

He smiled victoriously when he saw the resignation in Chanyeol's eyes, along with excitement. 

Without saying anything, Baekhyun grabbed the lube from the bedside table and quickly prepared himself, loving the way Chanyeol's eyes watched him closely and kissing his lips every here and there. Once ready, Baekhyun positioned himself and, with Chanyeol's hands on his waist, slowly lowered himself until Chanyeol was fully inside of him. He took a moment to breathe and get adjusted before he started to move slowly at first, enjoying just how nice and full he felt.

With his hands on either side of Chanyeol's head, he leaned down and kissed him, this time taking control of the kiss and twisting his tongue inside Chanyeol's mouth. His movements started to increase, his pace becoming faster, his hips rotating in synch with Chanyeol's.

They didn't rush, though, slowing down when they felt their release picking up, wanting to enjoy and cherish the moment as long as they could.

"You're beautiful," said Chanyeol as he stared up at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun smiled and leaned down to plant a peck on his lips.

"Right back at you," he said as he angled his hips, looking for that spot he desperately needed to be brushed with Chanyeol's cock and when it was found, he sped up, this time not stopping his movements, Chanyeol's hands on his waist guiding him.

Moans and groans, louder than before, escaped their lips as they both reached their climax together, each other pronouncing the other's name reverently and with love until they both came down from their high together.

Baekhyun lay on Chanyeol's chest after that, his chest moving rapidly along with Chanyeol's.

"Thank you," murmured Baekhyun as he kissed Chanyeol's chest affectionately.

"No baby, thank  _ you _ ," said the taller.

Baekhyun looked up at him and smiled. "I love you," he said.

Chanyeol smiled as he studied Baekhyun's features with a look in his eyes that had the shorter’s toes curling. "When did you realize you loved me?" Asked Chanyeol.

Baekhyun ran circles with his finger over Chanyeol's nipple absent-mindedly as he tried to remember. "When we were 14 maybe? 15?"

Chanyeol bit his bottom lip as he started to run soothing circles on Baekhyun's back with his fingers. The smaller closed his eyes at how good it felt. "You saw me date other people, then. Y-you must've been so hurt," mumbled Chanyeol. "I'm so sorry.”

Baekhyun frowned at that, not liking how guilty Chanyeol sounded. He looked up at him and cupped his cheeks. "Hey, please don't apologize. You didn't know. I never said anything. Stop saying you’re sorry," he said. "What matters is we're together now. Instead of worrying about the past,why don't we enjoy our time together?"

Chanyeol looked sad, even after Baekhyun's words, but still listened to them and relented. "Okay, let's do that."

"Good," replies Baekhyun before he pecked his lips. "Now let's cuddle. I feel like lying down with my boyfriend.”

"Boyfriend?" asked Chanyeol, amusement clear in his voice.

"I said what I said. Don't question me," replied Baekhyun as he snuggled into Chanyeol's chest like a kitten.

Chuckling, Chanyeol embraced Baekhyun more tightly. "Alright,  _ boyfriend _ ," he said.

Baekhyun meant it. While he'd been hurt for so long seeing Chanyeol with other people, it was time now to let go of that. He couldn't hold on to that pain if he wanted to have a nice relationship with Chanyeol. 

And so, they cuddled and spoke and giggled for the rest of the afternoon, enjoying each other's company as an official couple now.

 

Honestly, Baekhyun couldn't have been happier.

XXXX

A couple of days later, it became obvious to the people closest to Chanyeol and Baekhyun that the couple's relationship had changed somehow. Nevertheless, Chanyeol and Baekhyun didn't explain what it was, not finding it necessary to explain themselves to anyone.

And with this, came a text Chanyeol had been expecting.

"What should I tell her?" Asked Chanyeol as he lay in bed with Baekhyun, the two cuddling after having an intense session of love making earlier.

"Talk to her. Be honest," replied Baekhyun as he ran circles on Chanyeol's exposed skin. "She deserves to know the truth, don't you think? So she can properly move on."

"So you won't mind if I accept to meet her tomorrow?" Asked Chanyeol.

Baekhyun met Chanyeol's gaze and smiled. "Not at all. I trust you and how you feel about me. But I do think you should talk to her one last time, for both your sakes."

Chanyeol smiled as he ran his fingers through Baekhyun's hair. Bora would have never allowed something like this. Chanyeol didn't like to compare, but sometimes it was near impossible considering how different it was to date Baekhyun. 

With Baekhyun's reassurance in mind, Chanyeol met up with Bora on a park nearby his apartment the following morning.

They sat on a bench, silent as awkwardness filled the air.

"So...is it true?" Asked Bora at last.

Chanyeol took a deep breath at that, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Yes, it's true."

Chanyeol heard her gasp, but refused to look at her. He knew whatever expression on her face would make him feel more guilty than he already felt.

"S-since when?"

"A week ago."

She chuckled. "I meant, since when have you felt...  _ this _ way about him?"

Chanyeol sighed at that question. He should've expected it from her.

"I don't know," he said honestly.

"How can you not when I do," she whispered.

Frowning, Chanyeol finally looked at her.

She had tears in her eyes as she smiled at him. "I was an idiot, you know? For pursuing a relationship with you from the start when I  _ knew _ you felt the same way he did."

Chanyeol widened his eyes at that. Had he always been obvious with his feelings? How hadn't he noticed, then?

"You've always looked at him a certain way, you know? But I always lied to myself, thinking that if you hadn't made a move, then maybe it was because  _ I _ was wrong. But I wasn't, right? You've finally realized."

Chanyeol bit his bottom lip at that. "I'm sorry."

She smiled as she wiped away the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks. "I can't say I'm not mad, Chanyeol. But I'm not holding it against you, either. I shouldn't have insisted on having something with you when i knew what was going on."

"Is that why you always disliked him?"

She continued to smile at that. "Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? But I could never help it. I always wanted  _ you _ , but deep down, I always knew that even if I called you my boyfriend and had your body all to myself, your heart and your mind would always belong to  _ him _ . And of course, the way he looked at you... _ looks _ at you just made me fear losing you."

She looked down at her hands at that, shaking her head as she chuckled. "And now you two are together, the way it should've been from the start."

"I'm sorry," was all Chanyeol could say.

"Stop apologizing. There's nothing that can be done now to change everything, can it? So there's no use for you to say sorry.”

"But I am sorry, for hurting you unnecessarily when I should've been more honest with you and with myself."

"Well, at least you're being honest now."

Chanyeol shrugged. "I guess I am.”

"Thank you for telling me, by the way," she said as she stood up. "It’s what I needed."

"Thank Baekhyun. He was the one who told me to come. I'm glad to know he was right."

She smiled at Chanyeol as she fixed her jacket. "He's a great person, Chanyeol. A keeper. Love him properly and be happy, yeah?"

Chanyeol returned her smile." You too, Bora. I hope you find the happiness you deserve."

She bowed slightly at that before turning around and walking away. "I will, Chanyeol. No need to worry about me.”

And with that last statement, Chanyeol watched her walk away until she disappeared.

Sighing, Chanyeol stayed in the same bench for a couple of minutes before giving Baekhyun a call.

"How did it go?" Asked the smaller.

Chanyeol sighed. "You were right, we needed to talk. We're okay now, I guess."

"Why do you sound so sad?"

Chanyeol sighed at that. "Just... Guilty, I guess. I should've known how I felt about you long ago to avoid hurting her and you unnecessarily.”

"I know whatever I say won't change the way you feel, but I'll say it anyway. Yes, it would've been great if things had been different, but there's nothing any of us can do about it now. All three of us made mistakes, not only you. Stop blaming yourself, yeah?”

"I'll try," he mumbled.

"Good," replied Baekhyun. "Now come have lunch with Sehun and I, yeah? We're waiting for you at the cafeteria."

Chanyeol chuckled a that. "Always so bossy."

"You love me that way. Now come.”

And so Chanyeol did.

For the rest of the afternoon, Chanyeol held Baekhyun close as they spoke with Sehun and were later joined by Kyungsoo.

The giant knew Baekhyun was right. It was time to move past the what ifs and the mistakes once made to finally be happy together.

It was as Chanyeol saw Baekhyun and got entranced by his beautiful laugh and the way his eyes lit up whenever he spoke that Chanyeol promised himself to cherish Baekhyun properly this time. To love him and to treat him the way he deserved.

This time around, Chanyeol knew what to do, what mistakes to avoid.

Finally, after being blind and dumb, he got the chance to prove to Baekhyun just how much he much he meant to him. Chanyeol would now strive to be the best partner he could be, and he would continue to do so for however long Baekhyun allowed him to.

"I love you," he murmured in Baekhyun's ear.

Beaming, Baekhyun looked up at him "I love you too."

And to seal said words, Chanyeol leaned down and kissed Baekhyun's lips.

Yes, this time around, Chanyeol would love Baekhyun The way he should've from the start.


End file.
